wish i may. wish i might.

Here's my June 2011 Wishlist:

1. Any of the bracelets from the DANNIJO Rima line ($95 a piece)...they happen to be popular on one of my new favorite bloggers, The Man Repeller. She wears multiple at a time and calls it an "Arm Party." I wouldn't mind a similar Arm Party of my own...I die.
2. A pair of the Ray-Ban RB4147 Flatop Boyfriend Sunglasses ($129.00)...as a proud member of the Ray-Ban clan, I may be slightly obsessed with this style and feel the need to add it to my collection of sunglasses. This pair resembles the original Aviator style, in a more modern way. I'm thinking I need these.







3. A pair of Tom's Ash Canvas Women's Classics...probably the most comfortable shoes on earth. Love them.

4. Tickets to see Taylor Swift & NEEDTOBREATHE on either July 9th or July 10th. I'm dying to be there.






5. And coming in at number 5 is...this (http://www.tibi.com/shop/lo-bello-lace-sleeveless-dress) chunky lace swing dress from Tibi. It is perfection. Not to mention I have a dying love for lace, at the moment...and a long term relationship with the color black.



6. A cream blazer...preferably in a J.Crew style...I just haven't found one yet. So, keep your eyes peeled friends & let me know if you spot a good one!


Hope all is well! Xoxo.

the house that built me.

A couple of weeks ago, I drove past the house I grew up in that my parents moved out of coming up on a year ago. And, for the first time since moving out, I saw another family living there. One with young kids that had sidewalk chalked a huge "Welcome!" on the driveway. As sad as I was to see someone new living in the house my father built, I simultaneously felt a pang of hope...hope that the children that live there now will have a similar upbringing that I did, in the same home. I hope that their parents love them, encourage them, and tell them they have the world at their feet--like mine did.

I hope their parents teach them that, no matter what, love wins. Love for each other. Love for others. Love for the Father. I hope that they learn what it is to be loved and to love in return.

I hope that their Dad teaches them what it is to be competitive, but a good sport all the same. I hope he instills in them a sense of adventure and a love for travel. I hope he teaches them that hard work pays off, but work isn't life. And, that integrity is more important than a paycheck. I hope they inherit his love for others and the joy that reaching out to those less fortunate brings him. If these kids are lucky enough to have a father like mine, I hope they know how fortunate they are and that they never take a moment with him for granted.

I hope their Mom loves them more than words can say, that she tells them they are "her heart." I hope she is their biggest fan. I hope she gives them "surcies" just because and that she teaches them how to cook. I hope that her wisdom is passed down to them. I hope they hear how beautiful they are from her and know that there's nothing they can do or say to make her love go away. If their Mom is anything like mine, I hope they know she'd give them the world if she could.

But most of all, I hope the parents of these children teach them that there is no love like the Father's and that He is truly all they need. I hope they know that while they may not have everything they want, between those four walls, they have everything they need, and that's more than enough.

If these kids are blessed enough to have parents like mine, they are blessed enough.



With Mothers' Day just passing and Fathers' Day approaching, I found this a timely inspiration. I can't begin to express the gratitude I feel for my parents and the lessons and values they have instilled in me. I truly could not have asked for better.

Mom and Dad, I love you more than words can say.

"But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13b

heart abandoned.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you have just heard a sermon that you feel was written specifically for you and at the end of it, the worship leader comes out and plays just the right song to close out the message? I have. I did last night, in the comfort of my own room.

I'm in the process of reading David Platt's book Radical - one I would recommend to anyone! And as I was reading, I came across a section that sang to my heart. Here's an excerpt:

"God delights in using ordinary Christians who come to the end of themselves and choose to trust in His extraordinary provision. He stands ready to allocate His power to all who are radically dependent on Him and radically devoted to making much of Him."

It's safe to say this rang in loud & clear! I read these two sentences over and over again, dissecting each part.

*God delights--this brings Him joy!
*In using ordinary Christians--that's me.
*Who come to the end of themselves--where am I? (Insert Philippians 1:21)
*And choose to trust--it is OUR choice.
*In His extraordinary provision--He is Jehovah Jireh (my Provider)!
*He stands ready--with all He is and does, He is ready and waiting on little me to call on Him!
*To allocate His power--the Holy Spirit is the power of Christ in me.
*To all who are radically dependent--to all, not just some, all who are radically relying on God to supply them with ALL that they need.
*And radically devoted--definition of devoted: dedicated exclusively to a purpose or use; am I exclusively dedicated to Christ?
*To making much of Him--we were created to make famous the name of Jesus and to live a life worthy of the gospel! (Philippians 1:27-28)

When I finished the chapter, I could hear in my head myself, along with 22,000+ other college students at Passion 2011 Atlanta, singing,

"I'll stand, arms high and heart abandoned, in AWE of the ONE who gave it all! I'll stand, my soul, Lord, to you surrendered. ALL I am is Yours."

I hope that, in some way, God uses this to touch your life in the way it has mine and that you will CHOOSE a life RADICALLY DEVOTED to the One who gave it all!

Fresh Start.

Passion 2011--I'm not really even sure where to start with this...or what to say. There's so many things running through my mind and some still processing. In the past 4 days, my mind has been blown, my world has been rocked, and my life has been altered forever. And, it's not because I was at Passion 2011. It's because Christ was.

I went into this conference with the desire to start my year off by immersing myself in the presence of God with 22,00+ other believers. The first night, in our community groups we were asked the question, "What are your expectations for these next few days?" My answer was simple. I had none. I did not want to put any limits or expectations on what God was capable of doing in my life during this conference. I wanted Him to take the reigns and say, "Here I am, follow me." I did have a prayer, though. My prayer for this time, and still, was that God would break my heart for the things that break His. And that is exactly what happened.

I have more desire now to serve Christ and to live for His glory than ever before. My heart is burdened for the souls of the lost. And at the same time, my joy is made complete in Him. Our first night there, Louie Giglio spoke on making sure our lives count for what matters most. At one point in his message, he said something that has stuck with me. He said, "God is no respector of age. You can change the world right NOW." He went on to talk about Time Magazine's Person of the Year, Mark Zuckerberg (creator of Facebook), and how, at age 26, he has changed the world. He is only 4 years older than me. Imagine if I lived my life, if we lived our lives, in such a way that, by age 26, we had forever changed the world for the Kingdom. After spending some time thinking about that, I only had one question. What's stopping us? We have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers." --1 Timothy 4:12-16

After the second night, I added another part on to my prayer for this conference. Francis Chan spoke on living a life worthy of the Gospel of Christ. He asked us two questions. 1. Can people see that I believe in hell? 2. Can they see that I'm saved from it? I evaluated my life, my actions, and my speech and came to the conclusion that I had some serious stepping-my-game-up to do. I asked myself when the last time I shared the Gospel was, and my answer was WAY TOO LONG AGO. So here's the second part of my prayer: God, make me dangerous in the eyes of the enemy for the cause of Christ.

"But if I say, 'I will not mention him or speak anymore in his name,' his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot." --Jeremiah 20:9

The next morning Andy Stanley said something at the beginning of his message (which I will delve into in a later post) that really clicked with what I had been praying. He said, "You have NO idea what God may use you to do in the world." Which led me to ponder, is my heart in a place to accept whatever it is that God will have me to do?

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." --1 Corinthians 9:24-27

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." --Philippians 2:12-14

Another thing I learned (from Beth Moore's message) was that for every plan God has for my life, Satan has a plot to destroy it. So, I'm working on constantly renewing my mind and keeping Christ's glory the motive of every action. I'm still processing everything that I've learned in these past few days, but I just wanted to share a bit of it. I serve a Master who demands radical sacrifice and a Maker who gives radical rewards. (David Platt)

"I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing." --2 Samuel 24:24

"But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." --Matthew 6:20-21

"Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead..." Our God is the I Am. Not the I Was. Not the I Will Be. He is the I AM. I am done dwelling on the things of the past and worrying about the future. My focus is now on the present and making famous the great I Am.

Now is the time for change. Now is the time for sacrifice. Now is the time to bring fame to the name of the Lord. Now is the time to glorify our Creator. Now.

I will be posting more on everything God had for me to learn during this conference, but I wanted to give you just a portion of it now! We serve an amazing God.

Let our shout, be His anthem.
All glory to the Father.

Becoming a better follower.

Well, needless to say, I've been away from the blogging realm for a little while...also known as 3 & 1/2 months or so, maybe closer to 4. But, who's counting?

During my slight hiatus, I've done some reevaluating (mostly in the past couple of days), had some incredible opportunities presented to me, done things I've regreted, visited new places, made my first C in a class--ever, experienced incredible worship, and learned just how minute, finite, and small I really am.

If you haven't ever seen the Indescribable and How Great Is Our God messages by Louie Giglio, I recommend them strongly. They are life changing! We tend to look at ourselves and see some great, invincible person. When, in fact, it is our Creator that is great, that is making something great out of us. We have nothing to do with it other than accepting His gracious gift of giving us the opportunity to follow him. That's something I'm really trying to grasp. I am NOTHING great without Him. "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him." 1 John 3:1.

As children of God, we aren't called to be "Christians." We are called to know the Father and to follow Him. I'm trying to grab on to that more lately...more knowing Him, not just knowing about Him, and following. He said, "Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men." That is what I want to do. I want to be a better follower. And in following...I want to be a better doer. I was talking to my Mom tonight and she was asking me where my heart was at as far as being involved in ministry is concerned and when she said this, it really hit home with me. She said, "I think I would rather be a not as great doer of the word, than simply a hearer." I couldn't agree more. James 1:22 says, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." I want to be a better doer. I want to be a better follower by doing all that I can to make my actions like those of Christ.

I have some major changes to make.

So, here it goes.

Here I am. Send me...very little, ordinary, and insignificant me.

(More elaborations on what's been going on in my life to come--soon!)

--Jordan.

Live a life of love.

"I've been a walking heart ache.
I've made a mess of me.
The person that I've been lately,
Isn't who I want to be."
-Dave Barnes

Ever found yourself looking in the mirror trying to figure out what you've become & how you got there? I've kind of found myself in that place lately. Running from the person I know I should be...I've been self-serving, hard-hearted, and closed off. I've been dealing with pain in my life in a way that was easy...not in the way that is right. I've been running from what I know to be true; running from the one person who won't leave my side.

Why have I been running? Maybe because I wanted to be angry. Maybe because I knew if I turned to Him, He wouldn't let me down. And maybe, because I wanted to be angry, I took my anger out on Him. I've found it's easier to take your anger out on the ones that you know will be there for you when it's all over because it's one less loss you'll have to face. I know this isn't right; most of the time the easier things aren't.

With all of that said, I've found myself back on the path to becoming the person God has created me to be. He's softening my heart, giving me compassion, and helping me see that there are other ways to handle unwanted situations other than getting angry. He's molding me into the person He created me to be.

"There's more here than what we're seeing;
A divine conspiracy."
-D.B.

"Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution."
-Kahlil Gibran



Leaving my selfish, hard heart behind, I'm finding that being compassionate doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're strong enough to halve someone else's pain, to share in what they are dealing with. It means, you double their joy, by sharing your excitement for them. It is having a heart for others. These are the things I want to exhibit in my life. A heart for others. Wanting to serve. Desiring God's love to be shown through me.

"Live a life of love."
Ephesians 5:2a

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here I am. Send me!'"
-Isaiah 6:8

a little less unlost, a little more found.

Well, if you read my "unlost wanderer" post, I'm pleased to share with you that I'm a little less "unlost." Not that the finding didn't come with trials and pain, but it brings with it knowledge and wisdom.

"A man who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm."
--Proverbs 13:20

Searching for answers often comes with looking in the wrong places, finding the answer is something we don't want to know, failure (that, at some point, often leads to success in some realm or another), sometimes looking in the same wrong place more than once (Isn't there a saying about that? "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." --Thanks for that one, Mom. Maybe I'm a little crazy? Only kidding.), or finding that you knew the answer all along. There's plenty of other things that come with searching...these are just a few I've encountered recently.

I've found that there are some people that are in your life only for a season. That season may be short or it may be lengthy. It may be that they are there to show you something, to help you grow into the person God is molding you to be. Or, they may be there, so that you can touch their life in some way. But for those seasonal relationships, at some point, you must let go. You must realize that their place in your life is finished...and while it meant a great deal while it existed, it is now over. Letting go might not be what you had in mind, but I've found that if you let go when it's time, it leaves a better taste in your mouth for the person left behind. A bridge a little less burned. A heart needing a little less mending. A person needing a little less replacement of what used to be.

Letting go at the opportune moment may hurt somewhat, but it leaves less damage in the long run. It allows each of you to continue on your life journey to where you are supposed to be, without the turning back and retracing steps. Yes, it can cause pain. But the severing of most things do...relationships, limbs, addictions, etc...for a period of time. But then it's over, and you can appreciate what was. You can see the purpose of their season. This is the healing. And it almost always comes. It is the natural process that follows pain and injury.

I am in the process of letting go. But through the pain, I'm starting to see that those left behind served their purpose in my life well. I hope I was able to do the same for them. The pain is worth what comes with the healing.

"In my time I've seen some things
People come and people go
I've seen the colors autumn brings
And how winter rain turns into snow
But this I know for sure
Though seasons change I must endure
For you promised you'll be there
When season change

The fire of my soul
Though this house with time grows old
Will remain as long as I can feel you
Abiding in me
It's good to know
That you still care
For you promised you'll be there
When seasons change"